Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
