I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
