i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
