sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
