Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
