is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
