i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
