That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You are a genius and a whore.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
