you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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