she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
