yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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