i permit you to call me
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
