I hope mine doesn't look like that
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
