two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
