Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize