We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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