i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Randomize
