since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
