hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
