The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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