About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
