like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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