Barsexuality is the new black.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
