look no pants
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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