Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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