well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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