Sponge bath it is.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
