we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
