When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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