I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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