More tranny stories later!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
