The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I want a musical about memes.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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