There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I had to cum in my sink.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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