What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
