i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I need to calm my uterus...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
