How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
