JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
