Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
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