One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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