thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
