operation harelip BJ is a go
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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