Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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