You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
