I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
