doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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