Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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