why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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