it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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