and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
