you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
