we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
