so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
