I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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