He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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