going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
