Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
