I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize