Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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