I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
