New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
