The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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